Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Super Size

China: not the stuff on your table, but the super power to whom we owe a bunch of money. The good news is that we're paying that down, little by little. Still, as debt goes, one super power owing money to another super power doesn't always make for the best relations. I'm guessing this is something like Superman borrowing a few bucks from Batman to cover rent on Clark Kent's Metropolis apartment. Sitting around that big table in Justice League Headquarters, "Pssst. Bruce. Can you spare a couple of Batbucks for an old friend? Mild-mannered reporting doesn't pay like it used to."
Sure, if Lex Luthor decided to turn his latest weapon of comic book disruption on the citizens of Gotham City, you can bet that Superman would forget about who owes who money and head on over to put a hurt on Lex and send him back to the maximum security facility for hair-deficient super-villains where he belongs. Just like we're going to do whatever is asked in the wake of the explosion in Tianjin. With more than a hundred already confirmed dead and families still looking for missing relatives with poisonous gas and fires still raging, the tragedy continues. Superman doesn't just phone it in. The United States is in it to win it. Hearts and minds.
In the meantime, a good friend of mine spent an evening talking to a girl from China who stopped by these States of America long enough to shed some light on the education of the proletariat. Five and a half days a week in school. School lasts until after dinner, and during nap time you have to nap. No texting or looking at Youtube. Two hours of homework time is done at school, where there won't be anything else done like reading Harry Potter. Maybe some doodling in the margins of the oppressively boring workbooks. We will even head on over to make sure that they learn to speak English, so when the time comes for America to roll over, they will know how to announce it.
I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't do everything we can when it comes to humanitarian aid, no matter where or when those humans are in danger. I am thinking that maybe the Chinese Bat Signal might be a little hard to see through all that smog.

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